The messenger of Emmessen.

You look like your son this morning, your make up is very good.
What do you mean, I look nothing like him, was that a joke?
Yeah it was a joke, well I thought it funny anyway.
Glob glob.

You are crazy, mad, you nutter, you doofus brain.
As mad as a kid eating catfood, or her mother moaning
that cats should be seen and not fed.

Gardens should be tidy with lush growing grass not
rabbit holes and dry mud. Barren like the childless, the only
growth here weeds.

Even so you can’t expect those rabbits to live for three days
In a hutch can you? For all we know, the pipes had been making that awful noise for years and driving the previous tenants nuts.

The rickety stairs!!!! The leaky shower
the rotton gate and broken tap.
The cupboards that all open the wrong way.

Don’t worry, trusty Pablo and his cancer sticks
will sort it all out. He can do anything.
Even stop the gate falling on the children?

So gorgeous looking male what’s your spell today?
Casting out and cleansing or barricading new protection?
You know how we witches love to fight over beef.

Much better than a chipolata with a lot less gristle.
The smell of cooking bacon wafts into your quarters.
I think I will stick to Veggie-burgers thanks all the same
greedy guts. Much less piggified.

For pudding I’ll take that juicy banana, it’ll be a fight to
the death for it.
The pentacle tingled as I said my goodbyes to vanishing
Immoral purposes.

I was mean to you yesterday though. Very mean.
Or maybe I wasn’t, I’m undecided, confused, troubled.
Story of my life.
Yet my hair looks quite good longish today.
Glob glob.

You were jealous of the past again. Jealous of things
Long since gone away, things no more.
Yet still I chased you across hills and valleys
In the dead of night.

I ran so fast I wet myself.
Then followed your voice back to the safety
of the enclosure. I enjoyed the walk.

There was a massive splat of puke at the train station
from some drunken buffoon.
It was gross.
Kooky.
Glob glob.

It was probably a blue smurf.
He drank so much milk that day
no wonder he was sick.

It was loud. I thought the sky was crashing down.
Can’t do my laundry now.
I have to have dry weather for that.
I can’t bring a massive binliner of sopping wet stuff.

You are glowing now.
That’s because you are the son of god.
Yet is any marriage worth celebrating?
Glob glob.

The angry god looks down upon the filth you talk.
My father in heaven will judge me harshly now he knows
I am no longer celibate and chaste.
Could you have said anything worse?

I gave you the moon and you invited me to dine
at my favourite table with my favourite meal.
Yet you did this out of the blue for no reason.
Why? Why? Why?

You were hungry I cry, you need your nourishment.
I can feel your need as the wind howls outside my window.
Dance then! Embrace the dance and wash your car.

Dance to the sounds of greased lightning!
Oh you went into the kitchen, there was no dance.
You dumbass.

Show me flamenco, show me your twirl.
You love it. It’s electrifying!
Fabulous, you are the bees knees.
You will become the greatest dancing nun.


I will take my leave of you now for I am
Hungry for food. So goodbye my love.
The thunder and lightning roared
and the day turned to night.

Glob glob.