Twin Flame Love

When you connect with your Twin Flame,
Nothing will ever quite be the same.
A magical energy will open up around you,
A connection you simply can’t name.

A unity so deep,
Your true life’s aim.
You will know when you meet,
Your true Twin Flame.

You’ll have a love so strong,
a circle in the sand.
A timeless feeling,
Of standing hand in hand.

Have you met this person?
You will know it’s not a game!
Cherish him, respect him, most of all love him,
or you will lose your Twin Flame.

Being with your Twin is wonderful,
It makes you hold your breath,
but should you lose your way,
The pain is like a death.

So hold on to your love,
make sure you set it free.
Because if you don’t I warn you now,
You’ll end up just like me.

A lesson in faith

He stands by my side in astral form as real and near as if he were in the flesh. I tingle at his presence. He kisses me on the cheek.

‘Go away.’ I say in my mind as I pay the dentist and usher my children out the door.

‘Leave me alone. What are you doing here? Our relationship is over, the connection has been severed.’

He leaves my aura and I drive home trying to work out why I should feel him so close after I thought he had left my space.

You are back together.

I hear the whispery echo as I’m driving. The sun shines on my heart and familiar spiritual love and excitement pour in.

Why do you tell me these things? It’s not true. He has made it quite clear, it’s over. Finished. Severed. He’s not coming back. He is my ex boyfriend.

Rumbles of laughter hit my clairaudient ears and I feel the laughter in my solar plexus. It is funny. How can he be my ex boyfriend when he is with me and always will be?

Am I going mad?

Give me a sign, I shout, a physical sign.

We will. But you need to learn a lesson in faith. You are back together.

Try as I might to accept the end, sever the connection, they won’t let it lie.

How can I believe them? It isn’t fair for them to fill me with such hope that is metaphysical, intangible. Is it my own unwillingness to let go? But I have let go. I have. I’ve accepted the ending.

I walk into the warm cosy house and set my bags down on the nearest chair. I check the electric meter and my mouth opens in shock.

1.08

I have £1.08 left on the meter. My goodness. 108, the sacred number of God. 108 will only present itself when you are on the right path, when something good is going to happen. It is the sign of belief, of faith. 108. I’ve had many but each time I’m shocked.

Ok, ok I have a sign. It’s proof everything will be ok. It’s not proof he’ll come back.

I boot up my computer. My neck tingles….there is contact coming from him, I check my e-mails. Nothing.

I was wrong. Relax. Get your focus back. It’s over….for goodness sake accept it.

My friend pops up on MSN messenger. I read what she has typed.

I saw him today. He was walking through town slowly with his head down. I said hello, he looked up, looked through me and smiled a faraway smile, it was like he wasn’t even there, like he was stoned or something. He looked really upset.

I saw him a second time just ambling through town looking at the floor. He looked terrible. He looked lost.

Thanks for telling me, I say.

Ok so he is walking round the shops we used to visit, passing the café’s we had lunch, facing his memories as I have done. Ok so he is lost, in a faraway place, hurting like hell. That doesn’t mean he’s coming back. He said he’d stick it out no matter how he is feeling.

But something in the energies changed today. Something shifted.
As I responded to his final ending by cutting my ties, he has been drawn closer.

He must be in terrible pain, truly believing it can never work yet feeling the pain and separation of our love. Is it worse for me? When I know with all my heart that it can work. We didn’t try everything….there is still a way for us….

But he doesn’t believe this.

I want to take away his pain more than my own. I’d rather heal him and take all the pain myself….I would sacrifice for him. I would die so he could live.
How can someone love so much, so unconditionally and not spend her life with he that she loves?

I know I must not make contact. He has to go through this alone, it is his choice. There is nothing I can do but send my healing from the higher levels.

I turn to make a cup of tea and see my smiling spirit friend leaning casually against the doorway.

You are back together.

No. We are not. We are finished and he wants a clean break forever.

That’s him now. We see from a larger perspective. We see your future simultaneously to your present.

I take a sip of hot St John’s Wort tea and close my eyes. I walk to the cloaked figure sitting on the rock in the corner of my psychic space. I thought he had gone. No, he’s still here, blending into the background, hiding under a hood as he did in the real world.

I tap him on the shoulder.

He looks up. What? He asks.

I point to the image of us in the future, smiling, holding ribbon tied hands in unity and bliss.

Look what the guides are showing me. You and me in the future. See, you and me.

It’s not me, he says, and turns away.

I sigh and take another sip of the herbal anti depressant drink.

It’s finished.

It’s over.

I must accept it no matter what my friends in spirit tell me.

Tis a lesson in faith.

It's over

That’s it.

It really is over, I found out today.
He is not coming back.
There is no hope for reconciliation.

I have to close this chapter on my life and finally accept there will be no more chances. It’s hard to believe only three weeks ago I was in love, blissfully happy with my soul mate. I thought we would never end, infinite, like a golden circle.

Yet now that moment seems a million miles away, those thoughts from another girl’s mind.

The girl in love is no longer me; I am someone else reborn after the most painful death.

Endings create new beginnings.

Death is a doorway to new life.

The astral light around me turns dark as our connection closes down in pain, the opposite of its opening in love.

And…..I dare to look forward. I’ve had enough of looking back.

New buds are forming on the newly planted roses that grow at the foot of my astral doorway. That space turns empty and the black hooded figure that was once my lover, leaves my spiritual space.

I want to cry out, stop him, turn back the clocks, but alas, time has moved forward already and there is no going back. I must move forward also.

What lies on the empty pages now on the book of my life?

Peace, calm, happiness, security, family, success. Perhaps not the same as passion, romance and intimacy yet still life’s gifts to be embraced.

So come life throw at me what you will. I will not give in to these waves of grief. I will not lay down and die. No more sleepless nights and empty days of longing. No more skipped meals and staring at his photo. No more pleading texts and desperate emails.

He is not coming back.

And I will survive.

Cleansing.

Sending love and healing to us in the past,
Finding peace in my heart at last,
I never thought I’d be strong so fast.

Been on my own to the theatre tonight,
My emotions didn’t put up a fight,
And now I walk forward in light.

Drove past the Indian, our favourite place,
Blessed our union with love and grace,
Painful memories wiped without a trace.

I have to admit, I did shed a tear,
But I don’t want to live my life in fear,
Or turn to a crutch like wine or beer.

I have to be strong, I need to be free,
of the pain I’ve been feeling recently,
but at least I feel like the real me.

Now I’m home and feeling sad,
but with love in my heart I know I’ll be glad,
for I’ll always remember the love we had.

Letting go.....

Happiness fills my heart,
For the love I once had.
Wisdom spoken from my mouth,
Now I’m feeling glad.

Happy to walk the path alone,
simply because I love life.
Parted from him yet I feel him so near,
always in my heart, his wife.

His love surrounds me,
His words ring in my head.
But I carry him forward,
and follow where I’m led.

I fervently hope,
He’ll return to me some day.
But I realise now,
There is another way.

So I’ll walk in the sun,
as spindly pauper sings,
yet I’ll never stop loving him,
we are joined with astral rings.

Handfasted in heaven,
Our souls stand side by side.
Up there on Level 108,
I’ll always be his bride.

And if he does not come back,
In the third dimensional way.
I’ll walk the path in happiness,
and think of him each day.

Sending love to us in the past,
everywhere we ever did go.
Memories healed, moments cleansed,
Just remaining in the flow.

So I close the door upon us,
I give you a golden key.
Come back if you will someday my love,
til then I set you free.

Yellow Fairy

I awaken in the dead of night. Where is he? I look to the empty pillow next to me.
Where is he?
Blind panic enters my heart when I realise I have lost my soul mate, my Twin in all things. My heart races as I realise my other half has been severed from me.

I jump on the bed, I jump up and down, I scream his name at the top of my voice and call ‘Where are you? Where are you?’

I am wearing yellow pyjamas. I don’t own yellow pyjamas! Where did I get these?
Confusion reigns, panic grows; my heart charka is filled with a black substance that clings. The pain and grief is unbearable.
Where is he? Why isn’t he here?

I look down at the sleeping form in my bed.
It’s me!

I realise then, I am screaming within the astral realms. He must therefore hear me.

I rush downstairs and ride a yellow car to the place he lives, it is buzzing with people and the walls are yellow.

I am reminded of the time Michael Jackson spoke to me on the astral realms in his yellow rolls Royce with the courthouse painted in yellow.
The night before his trial when he told me he would be acquitted on all counts. The next day the papers held those same headlines.

I park my little yellow car. He comes to me, he puts his arms around me while I wail and sob and scream and shout.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, ‘I’m so sorry. I love you but I must go away now.’
He leaves again.

I am alone once more.
Bereft.

I stand alone in the darkened street next to my yellow car.

I know my sleeping body is wracked with pain and panic and is having difficulty breathing. But I don’t want to return to my body just yet.

I sit on a yellow crystal rock to think. Why has he gone away? Why have we been divided? Separated?

It is temporary. Trust. Have patience. You will be reunited with your soul’s mate when the time is right.

I look down to see a small yellow fairy with gossamer wings and a frilled yellow skirt.

Why am I in such pain?

It is necessary. I am your healing fairy. I am speeding up your grieving process. What would normally take months in most humans we are doing in a week with you. That’s why it hurts. But we will not give you more than you can bear.

This is more than I can bear!

The pain is not beyond your limit. It is in suffering that we experience our greatest growth.

I want him back. Please, healing fairy, please bring him back to me. Give me another chance to make him happy please. We lost our way, but I know I can do it.

You have challenges to face and we haven’t much time.

Haven’t much time? What do you mean?

I cannot explain that right now but know this. All through your relationship you lived in fear. Fear that he would leave you.

I thought about this. I realised it was true. I had been so afraid of him leaving. Every time he became upset, stressed. I thought he would leave and I panicked. Clung on. Gave ultimatums, demands. Stifled him.

Now you live with the fear he will not return to you.

I thought about this. It was true. I desperately wanted him to return. I knew we hadn’t tried everything we could have tried. I saw another road…..I knew it could work if we lived apart. It was our lifestyles that didn’t fit. Lifestyles can be changed.


You are right. What can I do to let go of the fear?

We can help you. But know this. Until you have truly let go of the fear of him not returning, of the fear of living without him, you will not draw him back to you.
Only when you are truly happy to walk the path without him, unconditionally loving him and truly setting him free, only then will you draw him back. It can be done no other way. This is your biggest challenge so far, letting go.

I can’t do it.

Then he will not return.

I remembered the old saying….If you love something, set it free. If it is yours it will return to you, if it doesn’t it never was.

I’ll try to do it I promise.

We, the healing fairies will help you.

I awoke. I lay there in bed, shaking. What a dream! And what awful pain I’m in. I reached for my Bach flower rescue remedy spray….and there, sitting on my window sill was the small, winged, yellow fairy.

I gasped and stared at her open mouthed….what the..?

It was no dream.

I'm home.

I’m home.
He’s gone.
The house is silent, bereft. His messy things no longer here.
I would rather have the mess.
Yet I complained all the time when it was here……

I’m home.
He’s gone.
He’s taken his things and my laughter along with them.
He made me laugh.
Every day.

His words ringing in my ears,
‘When I’m gone you’ll look back and see I was the best boyfriend you ever had.’
Didn’t he know I always knew that anyway?

He did so much for me.
I’m lost without him.
I can’t move the bunny compost, it’s too heavy.
I can’t wash my car the way he did.
I can’t rearrange furniture like he did.

But I don’t care about those things.
I miss his jokes, his childlike sense of fun.
I miss his spirit.
I miss his caring love.

No one fulfilled me the way he did.
I knew how much I loved him, how special he was to me.
I tried to tell him, to show him, how appreciated he was.
But somehow, someway, I lost my ability to show him how much he meant.

He is a good man.
I want him to be happy.
He loved me so much, he still does, I know that.
Will there be a hole in his life like there is in mine?
Will he miss our laughter as much as I do?

My inner voice tells me he will return to me, to our love.
I believe this to be true.
The universe will not separate those who are meant to be together.
So I will wait.
Until he returns to me one day.

Ascension

Sometimes we need to just stop,
Take a step back and look with our inner eye,
at the fabric of the universe around us.

Sometimes we need to just stop,
take a breather, relax,
and view everything from an objective viewpoint.

Sometimes we need to die,
in order to live,
in order to be free.

Sometimes we need to die,
in order to be re-born,
in a different form.

Sometimes we need to be crucified,
in order to rise again,
and begin our ascension.

Three years to the day

What greater power decided this?
That we should part company exactly a year to the day we got together?
Is this what fate always had in store for us?
Three years exactly and then goodbye?

Well happy anniversary my dearest friend,
My soul mate, my lover, my husband that never was.
Three years of happy times, memories to treasure forever.
Three years of confusion, depression and being torn in two, for you.

You loved me, I know that, still do and will.
But the situation was too much for you,
You tried to put up with it but I needed so much more.
Where I saw happiness all you heard was noise.

Children playing, having fun, that’s kids for you I said.
But you weren’t convinced all kids were the same,
Mine were naughty, undisciplined, other kids were different.
But I didn’t see it that way.

Where I saw my genetics growing forward into life,
You saw a pain in the butt,
Where I saw family you saw chaos.
My happy life was a living hell to you.

But you stayed.
Because you loved me.
And I admire you for that,
Being in conflict within yourself isn’t easy.

I thought you’d always stay.
I thought you loved me enough to deal with it.
I thought we’d get married.
How could I have been so wrong?

Problems replaced friendship,
Arguments instead of harmony.
Two people so very right for each other,
In a situation so very wrong.

So what happens now my friend?
What will you do?
How do I live with memories of you everywhere I go?
Will we recover from this?

Will we learn to open our hearts again?
Or do we stay locked in three years of memories of one another?
Never to share intimacy in this lifetime again?
I will miss you.

So what higher power decided this?
Three years to the day?
If coincidence is synchronicity then what does this mean?
Why three years to the very day?

You’ll remove your belongings on our anniversary date.
Start a new life somewhere else.
Well darling I wish you the best in everything you do.
Good luck, take care and goodbye.

When stars begin to burn.

When stars begin to burn,
and the night begins to turn,
from shadowed light to darkness of blue,
only then do I think of you.


I know you are out now looking to feed,
the thirst taking over and creating such greed,
stalking your prey then moving in for the kill,
and drinking sweet blood til you've had your fill.


I'm sorry I can't join you on your nightly feast
,although I want you, you are still a beast,
I found myself in a murky mire,
when I fell in love with a vampire.


I need to stay with one of my own,
either that or live alone.
I cannot risk getting involved with you,
despite the fact that my feelings are true.


I miss you like crazy, I hope you can tell,
No-one stood a chance when for you I fell,
you are a man of desire, a man of lust,
but in you I cannot place my trust.

For what if you decide to feed from me?
if that happens I'll never be free.
For once I am bitten I shall start to turn,
and the fire within me will begin to burn.


I don't want to be left with a vampire curse,
that's why I write you this little verse,
to explain why I left, why I ran from our kiss,
why I can never repeat that night of bliss.


So I look to the skies and set my thoughts free,
and hope that maybe you are thinking of me.
My life is ahead of me, I have much to learn,
For now I stay here and watch the stars burn.

Nature goddess

Girl emerges from the water,
She has green veins threaded through her hair,
Dotted with lilies, both big and small.
Cream and orange.


Dragonflies for hairclips and vines for veins,
Threaded through her hair.
Peach lips pursed and emerald eyes,
a beauty if I ever saw one.

Green veined vines curling through her russet hair, dotted with flowers.
Peach blushed pale perfection rising from the waters.
Lady of the lake,
Serenity.
Youth.
Creation.
Nature entwines with humanity as the princess of the waters shows herself.

Queen of the waterways,
Princess of Pisces,
Neptune’s love.

Her earthly vines circle her forehead like a crown.
Dragonflies perch upon her, she is their natural resting place.
Her hair is entwined with vines,
Like veins.
Pumping nature, not blood, throughout her ethereal body.

I look closer,
Look away from those hypnotising green eyes.
And I see,
To my amazement.
That the vines entwined throughout her glorious hair,
Are growing out of her head.

Part human, part plant.
Daughter of Poseidon,
Wife of Pan.

And I realise,
For the first time in my life.
I am in love.

I weep,
For this glorious aspect of divine femininity,
This goddess of the sea.
Can never be mine.

She belongs to the earth,
She belongs to the air,
She belongs to the water.

And she leaves a fire in my heart,
That can never be quenched.
I regain my composure,
And turn away from the bubbling stream, the lily covered pools.
And return home.
To the bustling city, the brick built buildings, the money machine.

That swallows me up every day.
There is no place for her.
In my world.

I will always long,
For the touch of her hand.
For her to rein natures kisses on my face in the rain,
And splash droplets of desire upon me with her dragonfly wings.

Emerald eyed goddess I will dream only of you.
And one day,
When I’m done with this life.
I will come back to you.
And with another turn of the wheel,
I shall be one with nature again.

A215 Blogs

http://www.restlessdreaming.com/

http://wjohnd.blogspot.com/

http://a215guineapig.wordpress.com/

http://lamorna.blogspot.com/

http://restrictedvision.wordpress.com/

http://www.xanga.com/StealthBuda

Paintedsmile.

Picking up that purple eyeshadow, looks too bright, don’t know if I like what I see maybe it won’t look so good under the lights, clashes a bit with the red lips but then so what, I’m a clown I’m allowed to clash, I’m allowed to have a messy flat leave my socks in a pile leave the washing up for days no food in the cupboard haven’t opened the windows for weeks so what? I live on my own what’s it to them anyway bloody control freaks trying to control everything where in the hell am I supposed to go now? Think I will go for the purple, how about a different colour over each eye that’s novel no it’s not Mr Funny did it last year one eye was green and the other was blue so what no-one will remember I’ll do it and keep that smile don’t let that lipstick fade under the lights a clowns smile is his greatest asset so what if I forgot to flush the toilet I’m the one that had to live there for goodness sake what are they trying to do to me? The homeless clown, hey I could start a new life bit like a tramp do a skit on Charlie Chaplin why not? He had a sad life too look at me all smiles they are as false as the painted mouth no one can see that I’m crying inside don’t let the buggers grind you down always look on the bright side of life like Monty Python says Oh I’m on here goes finishing touches lets worry about where I’ll sleep tonight after the show the show must go on big smile big big smile for Co-Co the clown that’s me always happy very funny loved by all mustn’t forget that bottle of whisky I stashed in my bottom drawer I’ll drink that later when the lights go down.

Dearest Mildred

Dearest Mildred,
I write to tell you of the latest goings-on in my life. You know how much I love to write to you and how I look forward to receiving your letters.
I know we are far apart, dearest Mildred, but I hope someday we shall be married. I intend to propose to you formally the next time we see each other.
I have money put away to buy you any engagement ring of your choosing.
Money means nothing to me. If I have it, I give it away.
Why only last week I made a huge gift of 800 english pounds to the charity for animals. They came knocking on the door and showed me some frightful pictures of animal cruelty. Personally I don’t think they should show these shocking pictures to the general public, surely it’s their job to deal with these issues and shield us sensitive souls from the harshness of the reality of cruelty. Even so, I felt I should make a generous and charitable payment to their company. Maybe with the right funding they will be able to afford to keep the shocking imagery to themselves.
I know you posses a cat yourself dear don’t you? Why you wouldn’t want to see pictures of cats being harmed now would you? You wouldn’t want to imagine it was your dearest Whiskas? Or did you say your cat was called Smartie? Oh whatever, I don’t have much time for animals myself I must say. Not unless they are plopped on my plate with a hearty serving of potatoes and gravy. Oh what funny jokes I make my dear. What a splendid sense of humour I have. You must rejoice when you receive my letters and long for the day we are married. Do not fret my dearest love; it shall not be long now.

I know you wish for a large and grand affair. That’s fine and I’m happy to do the whole thing in a church if that is what you wish, not that I’m a religious man. Mind you, I do go along to church once in a while, if only for appearances sake and to please my dear Mother, God rest her soul. I gave a hearty donation to the church fund last time I went along. 500 English pounds. Almost as much as I gave to those wretched animals.

The RSPCA knocked on the door again this week, asking for more money. Can you believe the cheek of these people? I told him to bugger off, scuse my language dearest but I think one donation of 900 pounds is enough for one lifetime don’t you?
No one can say I’m not an animal lover after that can they? But the damned charity (scuse my language again dear) can’t expect to bleed me dry can it?

So about the wedding. Moderation where moderation is due my dear. I know you are a dress size 16. So I have taken the liberty of ordering a lovely second hand wedding gown from the ‘offered’ column in the local newspaper. I’m sure you won’t mind but it was a bargain at only 25 English pounds. It’s a little on the yellow side but Mrs Didgebury from next door said all you’d need to do is sprinkle a little talcum powder over it and it’ll be as good as new.

Bridesmaid’s dresses are rather unnecessary I believe therefore I’ve decided we don’t need any. I’m sure you won’t mind.
We can cut costs on the flowers by picking them from your lovely garden and Mrs Didgebury has kindly offered to bake the cake.

I have a splendid old suit that I purchased seven years ago for my father’s funeral. It will do just fine as I have only worn it once.

I haven’t a clue who I shall ask to be my best man, as you know I’m not given to socialising so I couldn’t possibly decide who I could call a ‘best friend.’ Perhaps your dear brother John might do the honours? I know I’ve only met him the once but he seemed a nice chap even though he does work in a shop.

Anyway my darling, money is no object where you are concerned. Start looking at rings now; I want my wife to have the biggest diamond on her finger just to prove to the entire world how loving and generous I am.

I cannot wait for the big day.

Until we meet again my darling Mildred, I shall dream only of you.

Yours most faithfully,

Gerard Tightass.

Memory Chip

I thought I would always remember this but over time it has become blurred. Why? I always thought I had a good memory especially if those memories were filled with her. The night she wore the powder blue flowing evening dress I shall never forget. Or was it mint green? It matched her eyes I know that much. What colour were her eyes? What happened to me? I remember going into surgery at Polestark United Hospital to have the memory chip implanted. It cost a bloody fortune. Why is everything so foggy then? I paid for the best treatment. Sometimes I wonder if my wife was right and it was just old age. She said so only yesterday,

‘Charly love, they didn’t do anything untoward at the hospital. You got the best treatment you know. It’s old age dear that’s all. Non important memories don’t stay when you’re old dear.’

But she wasn’t a non-important memory. Not her. She was the love of my life. But my wife wouldn’t know that would she?

Her eyes were blue, definitely blue. Definitely. Or were they brown? How I fight to keep her image alive in my head. Why is this? It’s almost as if someone had deliberately wiped her image from my mind, if I didn’t know better……

She was beautiful, I can’t forget that. I can’t forget my feelings for her either, I loved her so much. What happened to her? Where is she now? Why didn’t she say goodbye?

I remember a funeral. It wasn’t hers though, it was someone else’s. But I was crying. Why was I crying? I didn’t care about anyone other than her.

There was a child. A girl. Red hair, or was it black? Whose child was she? Was she mine? Did I have a daughter? Mary. That was her name, Mary. My daughter Mary, with red hair like her mother. How could I forget.
But my wife has brown hair.

‘We didn’t have children love,’ she said when I asked her, ‘you never wanted children, remember? You said they would drain your finances and destroy your heart.’

Did I say that? Why?

I was there when she was born. It was the most wonderful moment of my life. Where is she now? Was it her funeral? My daughter’s? My Mary, my sweet Mary.

‘You so confused dear,’ says my wife.

I didn’t pay for the surgery to become confused. That damn memory chip. It cost me a bomb and my memory is worse than ever. But only when I think about her. And about Mary. My daughter.

‘There was no child Charly dear. We don’t know anyone called Mary. Stop rambling dear and rest, you’re tired.’

I’m not bloody tired and I’m not bloody confused!

What happened to the woman I loved? What was her name? What colour were her eyes?

I wish I could remember. Why can’t I remember?

Who is my wife talking to now? Always on the goddamn phone. Who is he shouting at saying it didn’t work. What didn’t work?

‘I was discussing the washing machine my love.’

But there’s nothing wrong with the washing machine. Its fine, works like new.

I remember when I bought it. Remember with such clarity. It cost one hundred and eighty two pounds, I remember that.

Why can’t I remember her? She was beautiful and so slim. Except when she was pregnant but even then she was still beautiful.

She was pregnant! I was so happy when she told me. I picked her up and twirled her around in my arms, smiling, shouting. I was to be a father! Praise the Lord!

‘There was no child dear,’ says my wife more sternly now, ‘lie down. Take your medicine, you’ll feel better.’

Goddamn medicine. Poison more like, I don’t want it!

Better lie down, I am tired.

What are those men doing here, what do they want?

‘They are your friends dear. Jack and Terry. Remember?’

No I don’t remember. Never seen them before in my life, who the hell are they? And why are they wearing Polestark United Hospital uniform? What’s going on.

Taken my medicine. Feel better now. My wife is right, I must sleep. Must rest.

Oh there she is, my beautiful Penelope. That was her name. Penelope. Holding the baby, our lovely daughter.

Where is she? What happened to her? Where did she go? Why didn’t she say goodbye.

Penelope I love you, I love you, I love only you.

God I’m sobbing now, why am I sobbing?

‘I love you too dear,’ says my wife, ‘rest now dear. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.’

Blasted Banana

I bumped into Damalin yesterday, literally! I was walking up westward parkway and tripped on a banana skin. Cliche I know but then the parkway is full of apes. Why they can’t leave their damn banana skins in the bin instead of on the path is beyond me. It’ll take a death before the council sit up and take notice!



Anyway, just as I was pulling myself to my feet along came some roller skating freak in dark blue sunglasses and a Fred Frampton T shirt and he ploughed straight into me. Yet again I ended up in a heap on the floor. I opened my mouth to ask the twat what the hell he thought he was doing riding around like a loony in the middle of the day on roller skates and promptly shut my mouth again. Of all the parkways in all the universes he had to rollerskate into mine. I never thought I’d see him again after what happened and certainly not like this. Not with a banana skin stuck to my left foot and him looking like a jerk in a designer label T Shirt and shades. What ever happened to his philosophies on slave labour?



Of course he wanted to talk to me, to ‘chat about old times’ he said. I owed him that much I guess so we went down to the hot drink palace down svedford street and ordered a gin tea and crackerswat each. Stupid of me really, I never could handle my crackerswats, I was pissed as a fish after half a glass. He didn’t think it was funny that I was such a lightweight and insisted I tell him where the other twin was.I’d always known this day was coming but it didn’t make it any easier telling him I’d allowed the vampire community to take his baby when he was only five weeks old. He didn’t understand why I hadn’t contacted him to come and get the child. The fact that our bargain was that he keep one twin and I keep the other made no difference to him, he wanted our children away from vampire influence.



My protests and explanations of having to give young Lydy away fell on deaf ears. He didn’t care that he was showing all the signs of being a full vampire, he didn’t care that I believed the best place for him was with his own kind. He was our son and we had an agreement. When the boys were ten we were to swap them over and I would raise Morchacha while he took Lydy. That wouldn’t happen now. Not unless I could find Lydy amongst the vampires. I promised Damalin I would try.


I have three years in which to fulfil that promise. Three years til the twins tenth birthday.


And I so want to see my sons again.

Moral Dilemma.

I so desperately want to join the dragon rider’s convention but they won’t allow it. The entrants must be human only. Although I look, act and smell human, my Father was a well-known vampire. However my conception and birth has been kept secret amongst the human community here on Dresnin and I have a false birth certificate. I doubt that I would be found out…..yet..morally it would be wrong to trick the convention organisers, a company of human beings I have the greatest regard for.

My brother, Grad, is on the convention committee and has sworn he will keep my secret with his life. I am a good rider and have worked so hard taming my bluestar mountain steed for this competion. He is fast flyer and is large for a bluestar. He’ll give the goldens a run for their money! I have dreamed of the time when I would be able to sit atop my steed and fly with the best of them. My brother has always said I’d be a top dragon rider one day, yet how can I lie about my origins this way?

I am no threat to humanity with my half breed status so why is my kind being outcast this way? It isn’t fair. Yes, I do drink blood like any other vampire but its a delicacy for me and not a necessity. I’m just as happy with fish and chips!

I’ve got twentyfour hours before I have to register my name with the convention. Guess it’s make your mind up time.